The waning hours of 2011…

I’ve spent a lot of time in my own head this year (a very scary place at times!), trying to understand better why I am happy and unhappy with aspects of my life, and deciding if and how to change that.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m very blessed with a wonderful family , job that pays well, and the opportunity to operate a studio and teach, as well as dance.  This has been a year of personal and professional goals met, such as finding a new space for Wild Lily Dance and obtaining arts grant funding for the Neighbourhood Strays’ (My troupe) “Dance on the Edge” Show and bringing it to a larger and more professional venue, to name a few.  However, I have also felt at times like I spend my time on a luge track trying to make everything that needs to happen happen just to get from one end of the day, week or month.  And I’ve been sick.  A lot.  Nothing major, but a constant cold/flu/sinus infection that hasn’t gone away for months.

So, in the spirit of making the life I want (and being a true Scorpio), here are some of my “resolutions” for the year to come

 1.     Be healthy.  Simple enough?  Not really.  This means really doing it, not just talking about it, doing it some of the time, doing it a little and then rewarding myself.  This means making good choices about food and exercise all the time.  This is not about deprivation or ‘dieting’, which doesn’t work.  It is about moderation.  It is also being honest.  Yes, that chocolate cake DOES have calories, even if it is for my birthday.  And about being as active as I can be in the time I have, and making every second count.  I’m not going to plan to be down five dress sizes or running marathons by this time next year.  I’m just going to change how I think and act on a daily basis, and see where that takes me.

 2.   Time is a finite resource: The first two mean that I need to be conscious of time spent doing things that don’t contribute to the benefit of my life.  No, I’m not going to be one of those “I’m signing off Facebook” people, but I am going to be more conscious of how much time I spend on it looking at wedding photographs of people I don’t’ know (Except for a few photographers I know, whose work is art!) and playing games that don’t make me a better person (Lexulous is safe because it will save me from Alzheimers disease!).  But I will use Facebook and other such time-suckers, not let them use me. 

 I am also conscious of this in another sense – I have a daughter who is suddenly about to turn 13.  I’ve been in a relationship for over ten years.  Time passes while we’re trying to get around to enjoying it. This year we had some flooding, and we decided to de-clutter and reorganize.  I donated a lot of crafting supplies for projects I had never gotten around to.  Instead of feeling sad, I felt lighter.  I have been going into my craft room/office more too, because it’s no longer a chamber of regrets.  And regrets are just expectations we have of ourselves that aren’t based on reality.  As the other magnet on my fridge says “Barn’s burned down, now I can see the moon”.  Let it go, give it away.  Open up the track to what’s ahead.  Without the weight of what you didn’t get to in the past, it will be easier and more enjoyable.

 In the words of Buddha ““When you realize how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky.”

 3.   Orient: I’ve been fortunate to have the resources to take advantage of opportunities to study with some amazing dancers in the past few years.  But this year, I decided to tailor my learning to my own goals, instead of just jumping on whatever comes along.  I’ve examined my strengths and weaknesses and opportunities to address the latter are my priority.  This approach enables me to plan ahead in terms of time and money.  But also to prepare for the experiences in a way that will help me take best advantage of them.  I still have my list of people I want to study with but haven’t yet, but I’m looking at it as a longer term plan, instead of a “fly by night” kinda deal.   Knowing that these experiences are ahead of me is motivation for keeping on track with all my goals.

4.   Looking after me:  This has become such a clichéd saying, used to sell me everything from shoes to spa packages.  But in a different way, it’s a goal for me this year.  No one else is going to address problems I’m having.  I’m responsible for taking control.  No one is coming to rescue me, make it better, put a band aid on it or to say “No” on my behalf.  I’m the one who’s in charge of what happens to me or, if it’s beyond my control, how I respond.  No one else. 

 That’s a scary concept, but also a liberating one.  It doesn’t have to happen “to” me.  It’s my life. And the world won’t end if I set boundaries, put my foot down, say “Can’t be done that way”.  But it doesn’t end there. It also challenges me to devise ways to get things done, do find a better way, to maybe delegate a task to someone else who is also looking for a challenge. 

 5.   Human beings are the best and worst things about life:  There are days when human beings disappoint me to no ends, when they are my biggest source of sadness or anger (myself included!).  This year I’ve seen a lot of disloyalty and unwillingness to look beyond one’s own perspective to even consider that there may be another side, that someone else may be hurt.   

 However, I also have to remember that people are also capable of heart-stopping kindness, generosity, courage and love.  I have many amazing people in my life and get to have contact with even more through work, the studio and yes, Facebook!  My mother used to say “Show me your company and I’ll tell you who you are.”  She was right;  my family and friends are the best indicators of whether I’m living my life well.  They lift me up.  But I also need to give to them instead of just taking from them.  Relationships are like bank accounts – you can’t just make withdrawals without making deposits too.  So, this year, I’ll be focusing on those relationships and giving them the nurturing they deserve. 

 I also realize that I can do a lot to help people around me be kind, generous, courageous and loving, mainly by being so myself.  And I will try my best to appreciate times of difference and diversity as opportunities to learn  – to see things from a different perspective, to handle a difficult situation, even to just be patient and bite my tongue ( a particular challenge for me!).     

 6.     Whatever You Are, Be a Good One: This is a fridge magnet I bought a few weeks ago, but it’s gaining significance every time I see it and has made me think about my life in a different way.  I often feel like I’m not doing anything justice because I don’t have time to, which doesn’t make a lot of sense if I’m doing things that I truly love, and if I have a family that I want to interact with.  The more I think about this saying, the more I realize it’s about truly experiencing the things in my life in a real way, not skimming the surface of them.  Throwing myself in.  Aspiring.  And most importantly, working at it and showing up.      I love this quote by  J. W. von Goethe

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back– Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.

Instead of being half-assed at a dozen things, I’m going to be awesome at the smaller number of things that really mean something to me – being a mother,  a partner, a lawyer and mentor, a dancer.

 7.      Believe in something:   Even if what you believe in is the power of the human collective (for example Egypt and Libia).  There are too many things that we can’t explain to think there isn’t something greater and above the daily slog.  And make time for what you believe in.  Challenge it, practice it, open up to it 

So, in the coming year,  I personally dare you to be there.  Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, whomever you’re with, be there.  And soak in everything about it you can, even the things that aren’t pleasant.  Be open. And sometimes the very thing that you didn’t want is the very thing you realize you needed all along.  These are the gifts and lessons that the Universe offers us now.  May it give you the things you need to make the life you want.

ON BEING A TEACHER

I’m feeling the excitement as we start up another (our third!) fall semester at Wild Lily Dance Centre (www.wildlilydancecentre.com), the studio that I co-own and where I teach.  This time of year always has more of the ring of the “New Year” for me than January 1, likely because of years of pre and post-secondary schooling.  It’s the time when I dig out curriculums, tweek them, improve them, and envision students learning from them.  New choreographies are running like a constant movie stream through my mind. I’m sharpening my pencils and my mind in preparation for the upcoming classes and getting ‘first-day’ butterflies.

No semester or class is ever the same.  I teach beginners, so I also get to witness students catch the spark and find something they love as much as I do.  I also get to see the start of dance friendships that develop as dancers discover new parts of themselves, and continue because these people “get it”.

My journey of training and learning has not only been about technique, but about teaching.  I enjoy teaching so much that I want to learn more about how to communicate the material to students, as well as how to inspire and motivate them.  I’ve been blessed to have been able to study with some of the most skilled and wonderful teachers in this dance genre.  When I attend a workshop or do a class, my mind is open to “How is that person as a teacher?  What makes them an engaging (or non-engaging) instructor? Why did I get so much or so little from that person?”

As students, we should also ask ourselves what makes a good teacher?  How do we determine if we’re getting what we should from our classes or workshops?  How do I know if it’s me or the teacher?

Just a caveat:  I make reference to teachers in the feminine in my comments for simplicity, not to take away from or suggest there aren’t male teachers.

What follows are (in my opinion)  some of the things that make a great bellydance teacher. Feel free to add your own or comment:

Knowledge:

Sounds simple enough, but is it?  Knowledge of the dance moves is one thing. But knowledge should go beyond merely knowing how to do the moves.  It has to include knowing how to do them properly: to me this means knowing which muscles to avoid injury to the dancer.  It also involves knowing how to perform them so that they have the best impact and so that they fit with other movements.

Knowledge should also go beyond the movements themselves to the context of the dance style.  What are the different styles within the “bellydance” genre?  What are the ethics? What are the controversies?  What are the cultural and societal issues? Too many students, especially beginners, are sent out with only their enthusiasm and popular views of what bellydance is, to discover later that, in their experience, the things they did, the costume they wore or the music they danced to were inappropriate.  For example, dancing in the gypsy (or for me, Atseguin) style means more than wearing hoop earrings and a bandana.  Students should be educated so that they can make their own choices about how they want to conduct themselves within this dance genre. While I feel it’s okay for a teacher to express her own perspective or views, she should educate her students about the other perspectives and points of view so that the students can make an educated choice.

I also believe that a teacher should continue to learn herself.  A teacher who relies on training that she received a decade or more ago, without continued learning and growth as an artist, is not honouring her students, and may even be putting them at risk.  Methods change, the dance form has grown and developed, even previously held views about stretching, warming up, cooling down and muscle dynamics have changed. Some teachers I know will take beginners’ level classes from other instructors just to refresh themselves in the basics.  I think that is very wise and try to do that whenever I have the opportunity.   Also, I try to learn other dance forms when I can.  Not only does it add to our knowledge, it refreshes our perspective on how it feels to be the student.

Respect

A good teacher has respect for the students she is teaching. That means showing up on time (barring emergencies), being prepared, being available to students if they have questions, and generally, being a pleasant person to be around.

It means giving students appropriate time to learn the movements or concepts, being able and willing to explain things more than one way and repeating things if necessary, and understanding that different people learn at different paces.  It is also appreciating that students have different goals than the teacher does for herself or the teacher perceives her students should have.  A student who is taking the class to get more exercise, to gain confidence, or even just for plain old fun, is worthy of just as much time, effort and consideration as someone who wants to make dance her career.  There is nothing wrong with having standards and expecting the students to work hard, but the student should never feel degraded because she can’t keep up.

In addition, we have to be conscious that there may be students who have limitations physically or psychologically/developmentally.  This can present a challenge to an instructor, but that challenge is ours to meet.  The student should never be given less because of those limitations, nor should she be treated disrespectfully because of it.

Teachers must also keep personal issues with a student out of the classroom or studio.  In a small community, such as the one in which I teach, and being the owner of the studio, it is not inconceivable that the people who are in my class and I may have had some contact outside the class setting that left a less than positive impression with me.  There may even be an ongoing issue. Sometimes personalities don’t mix. But that should never, NEVER, impact how you interact or teach that person within the class.  NEVER.  Because, even if they don’t know the context, other students notice the tension, and it will impact how well they are able to learn from you.  If the dynamic is so bad that you can’t prevent yourself from responding to it during class, then you have an obligation to assist the person in finding another suitable class or giving her a refund.

Teachers should never discuss individual students or classes in a derogatory way where there is any possibility that a student will overhear the conversation or be privy to it.  And, in our age of “social media”, an instructor should never post “Just had the most awful class!  Why to I teach?” or something equally as derogatory in a context in which students (whether they are the ones being referenced or not) may read it.  They may assume it’s referring to them, or they may think “If she would say that about another class or student, what does she say about me?”
Every teacher should remember that the students are the ones who give them the privilege to teach, and that fact alone should prompt teachers to treat students with consideration.

 Professionalism

In addition to the things discussed above, a good instructor teaches professionalism and ethics to her students.

While there is no written code of conduct for bellydancers, any type of conduct that makes an individual dancer look like they are inconsiderate of other performers or the audience, poorly trained, or shabby in conduct and/or appearance makes all dancers look bad.  The general public are not consumers of bellydance, so they will judge the many by the few.  I’m a believer that if we  treat our chosen art form as something to be valued, the rest of the world eventually will too.  And, overall, people are all impressed by someone who holds herself above the fray, who is respectable and who has class.

A good instructor will build this into her curriculum where appropriate so that, if a student does move on to perform in public, she will conduct herself in a manner that promotes, not denigrates, bellydance.  If the student knows the rules and breaks them, the responsibility lies with the student, but if the breach is due to ignorance because she wasn’t taught, then the shame is on the teacher.  (look for my  next blogpost on “Professionalism” for more details!).

Even if a student never performs in public, teaching ethics goes a long way toward the student valuing her dance training and passing that respect along to others.

Humility

As a teacher, the lessons I am most grateful for are the ones my students have taught me.  Sometimes, it’s a simple reminder that it’s exciting and scary to learn something new, teaching me to go slow, to be gentle and to be observant  Sometimes it’s the questions that allow me to explain more fully.  Sometimes, it’s a new way of  thinking about a move that I can use in future classes:   I had a student once who could not get her mind around the reverse maya, until she was watching Mad Men and said “Ah!  It’s Joan Harris walking!”  Sometimes it’s an email from a student telling you how much learning this dance has meant to them, which teaches me that what I’m doing has an impact.

A teacher should ever believe that she is above her students.  If she does, she loses the ability to see things from their perspective, and thus becomes a less effective teacher.  She should never believe she cannot be taught anything new.  And she should always remember that without students, there’s no need for a teacher.

I was fortunate this past summer to take an intensive with Rachel Brice. In the eyes of most, she has earned the right to hold her nose up in the air and be a complete diva because she is so skilled.  Instead, she was down-to-earth, honest and not at all afraid to make fun of herself.  By the end of the four days, though, I had pushed myself harder than I ever had in any other class or workshop.  I discovered that I learn better from a teacher who earns my respect by treating me with respect than I do from someone who expects that respect simply because she’s the teacher.  Rachel really embodied the humility that I believe the best instructors should have, and I try to remember that every day that I’m teaching.

She also impressed me when she showed us a video of a young French dancer named Illan Riviere and expressed how much he inspired her.  Her openness to be taught by the next generation spoke volumes.

 A teacher should also honour where she ‘came from’ as a dancer and teacher.  Even if the experience with a previous instructor was a bad one, it makes you a better teacher (a bad example is still an example!).  We all take a little of our teachers with us into our classes with us, and if we are complimented on our teaching, we have our ‘ancestors’ to thank.

 This is a tribute to the people I’ve been fortunate enough to learn from.  Thank you to each and every one.

“Do you know why I dance the way I do?
Because I have suffered.
I have gone through divorce,
death, a lot of heartache…
That’s the art.
You can show anyone a step
But not a soul.
Never forget why you dance.
It will always
give you strength.”
…Nadia Gamal… 

I have been complimented on my ability to express emotion in my dance, and I have spent a lot of time and energy learning as much as I can about how to better do that.   On the flip side, I’ve had dancers who feel emotive exercises or direction are frivolous, who feel that technical skill is the only thing that counts, who don’t ‘get’ the  touchy-feely stuff about dance.

I am a firm believer in “to each his/her own” when it comes to creativity.  However, here are two reasons why I think tapping into emotion when we dance is so important – the audience and the dancer.

As part of my own education and inspiration process, I watch a lot of videos and performances of all kinds of dance, so I’m an experienced and sophisticated consumer.  In my opinion, a dancer can have perfect technique but still not captivate me if he or she isn’t giving me more –telling a story, engaging me, making me feel something other than “there’s a difficult move, and another, and another”.  A dancer who draws me in is one who is revealing something to me emotionally.

Don’t get me wrong, good technique is important too.  Poor technique is as distracting as emotional sterility.  Strong and varied technique, in fact, gives the dancer more ‘tools’ with which to convey emotion.

And not all emotion has to be angst.  Sometimes it’s cheekiness, sexiness, joy, funkiness.   But it’s something. And it should be varied.  I remember one of my teachers once describing a great dancer technically who looked “like a blow-up doll” when she danced – vacant and one-dimensional.

It isn’t easy to emote on stage before an audience.  Many people feel they look ridicules when they try to convey feelings on stage.  Having to make things “bigger” so they translate is a challenge.  Which is why I view emoting as a skill: like shimmying or head slides, it has to be learned and practiced.  The payoff, however, is as great as learning to execute moves precisely. Mira Betz, in my humble view, is the best performer there is in the world of bellydance, because of the emotion she conveys and the stories she can tell with one eyebrow.  (if you ever get to study with her, do.) Here she is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXtKakXDQ2s

Expressing emotion when we dance is also critical to the dancer.  We may never perform for an audience because of lack of desire, courage or opportunity.  For most, it really doesn’t matter if anyone ever sees us dance.  Put on your favourite song when you’re home alone and what happens?  Dance allows us to say so much without speaking.  It allows us to reach further into our own sub-conscious than words ever can. That’s why the first caveperson to rhythmically hit a rock with a bone kept doing it, and why their cavemates started shuffling around the fire in response.  It’s why we tap our feet to a beat and feel our hearts swell when we hear the Ode toNewfoundland.  It’s why we jump up and down to the chorus of “I Gotta Feeling” by the Black-Eyed Peas.  Which is why I feel that letting ourselves feel as we dance is important to our emotional well-being and why dance is so good for us.  It allows us a release.  It lets us tell our tale, whether to ourselves or to a thousand people.  A child dances, not because he or she is skilled at it, but because they are feeling with their whole being.

For me, dance is spiritual – I feel a divinity within myself and a connection to the universe when I dance.  I don’t think it has to be that way.  But if you are not feeling anything when you dance, I suggest you ask yourself why.

When people compliment my ‘emoting’ I thank them.  What I don’t say is that I couldn’t dance any other way.

Here’s how it happened.   In 2005, I decided in the months leading up to my 40^th birthday, that I would try a bellydance class for fun.  I convinced a sister and a friend to join me, and thought I was heading off for an evening of laughs and exercise.  I wasn’t prepared for how I would feel about this dance or the sweet chaos it would bring to my life.

Since that fateful May, I have taken more classes, joined the Neighbourhood Strays Bellydance Troupe, became its artistic director, and learned from the amazing and inspiring Andrea Kitta, Audra Simmons, Mira Betz, Monique Ryan, Carolena Nericcio and Rachel Brice.   I have started a business (in addition to above-noted ‘regular job’) that focuses on bellydance.   My wardrobe, bursting at it’s seams, is affectionately referred to by all who know it as “The Cave of Wonders” from which articles of  any colour or configuration can be pulled for costume emergencies.   Even my daughter and my husband live this life: they know what a bindi is and how to apply it, and why breathing the same air as Rachel Brice was such a big deal.

The name of this blog is “Puyuria”.  This is a Rom term for someone who is not of gypsy heritage, but who wants to emulate gypsies in a positive way.  It is a term used with some respect, because the association comes from the genuine desire to know and understand.  This term aptly describes me and how I approach my dance life.  I learned the Atseguin dance tradition from Andrea Kitta, herself of this cultural background and I continue to dance in primarily in this tradition.  I don’t profess to be a ‘gypsy’ because I dress like one or because I believe I was one in a former life.  I understand that I am ‘outside’,  but I am dedicated to learning what I can about the history  and culture of the peoples referred to as “Roma” or “Czegeny”.  I do this out of respect for the people whose heritage and traditions I am appropriating.  I also take this approach the dance form referred to as bellydance, middle easter dance, danse du ventre, and so many other terms. Learning as much as I can about the history, context and traditions is important to me as a present-day dancer.

As with gypsy culture, I don’t profess to know everything (or even nearly everything!) there is to know about bellydance. In fact, the longer I’m dancing, the more I realize I don’t know.  The purpose of this blog is merely a place to lay my observations, feelings, questions and quandries about this dance and what it means.  My intent is not to shock or offend, but to examine things that mean something to me and to other dancers in this realm.    I am also hoping that my readers do the same.  All I ask is that the dialogue be respectful and informed.

So pull up a cushion, make yourself at home, comment if you wish, and enjoy.  I’ll do my best to be a great hostess.  Fig anyone?

(By the way, the  amazing photo in my header was taken by Jared Reid, a very talented young photographer in St. John’s, NL.  You can find him on Facebook!)